Marriage Jokes For Stress Free

Marriage jokes for stress free

Marriage jokes sometimes can entertain us. For those couple who are stress prior to their wedding day, it is not necessary to think every thing seriously but let Bali Shuka wedding planner to handle it. What you need to do apart from preparing all the money is enjoying some thing funny which  can amuse yourself.If you can not find all of those things ,we provides you some marriage jokes ,let enjoy:

A Man get bored having sex

So, there’s this guy, Walsh, you understand? He’s tired of screwing his wife. So his friend says to him, “Hey, why don’t you do it like the Chinese do?” So he says, “Well, how do the Chinese do it?” The guy says, “Well, the Chinese, first they screw a little bit, then they stop and they go and read a little Confucius, come back, screw a little bit more, then they stop again, go back and they screw a little… then they go back and they screw a little bit more, and then they go out and they contemplate the moon or something like that. Makes it more exciting.” So, now, the guy goes home and he starts screwing his own wife, see. So, he screws her for a little bit, and then he stops, and he goes out of the room and reads Life Magazine. Then he goes back in, he starts screwing again, and he says, “Excuse me for a minute, honey”, and he goes out and he smokes a cigarette. Now, his wife is getting sore as hell. He comes back in the room, he starts screwing again, he gets up to start to leave again to go look at the moon, she looks at him and says, “Hey, what’s the matter with you? You’re screwing just like a Chinaman!” (Chinatown written by Robert Towne)

An old Couple 

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, ‘While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.’

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say: “Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Martha would say: “I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said: “Martha, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.”

Martha replied: “Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

The pilot overheard them and said: “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.”

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word.

They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy: “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”

Stumpy replied: “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”

Just a Formality

A Young man said to his girlfriend’s father, “I realize this is only a formality, but would you mind me marrying your daughter?”
“Who says it’s only a formality?” asked the father angrily.

“Her obstetrician” replied the young man.

A Magic Well

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and thought “It really works!”

A Naked Wife

A mans wife is naked, looking at herself in the mirror, “I wish my boobs were bigger”, she says “Have you tried rubbing toilet paper between them?” Hubby replies, “will that really make them grow bigger?”
She asks. “Well it worked for your arse!”
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